Turning over a new leaf...

I am addicted to the process of reinventing myself. I've been guilty of it since I was a child, and the allure still exists for me now. I easily fall into the rut of day-to-day menial tasks and forget to thrive in the life I've been given. I'm drawn to the song lyrics, "This is your life, are you who you want to be?" What a waste if you're not, right? As a child I used to "reinvent" my devotion to sports or schoolwork. Today I'm going to give it my all. Today I'm not going to give 1/2 best. As a teen I used to play that game with my faith and devotion to holiness....Today I'm not going to gossip. Today I'm not going to cuss. Now as an adult, wife, and mother I am redefining my priorities and time management. It's time to stop being fat, stop wasting time, stop yelling at my child, and stop giving 50% to my marriage. We'll see how it goes. When it comes to goal setting and leaf turning over-ing, John likes to start with action-steps. What are the specific changes that I'm making. So, I've redirected my goals into "starts" instead of "stops"....translation.....I'm going to start working out, start devoting time to cleaning and cooking, start positive reinforcement and patience with Jack, start recommitting to romancing and respecting my husband, and start making my daily time in scripture a priority. It's a perfect day for change today. Not only is it a Monday, but it's practically the first day of a new month. Those are high priorities for anyone who knows how supremely AR I can be about starting new things.

SOOO, now that I've outlined my new changes, it's time for the funny story that always inevitably accompanies my existence. In order to "stop being fat" I decided that I would attend an aerobics class this morning. I've been pregnant/breastfeeding for about 3 years now and I have milked that cow dry....meaning I've used it as a crutch to avoid physical activity beyond the occasional jog or walk to the park. In my prime I loved step classes. There's an odd community of people that flock to step classes. Everyone knows the lingo for the combo changes and side shifts, and generally uncoordinated people somehow manage to move in sync with the hip tunes of Debbie Gibson and Kylie Minogue. However, there always seems to be one overachiever in the class that incessantly claps to every beat and shouts out unprovoked "wooo's". Not to mention that those chicks also add little skip steps to every movement inadvertently making the rest of the class look less enthusiastic or lazy. Today, I walked in and unknowingly set up my step right next to that girl. Lets just say the last 3 years haven't been kind to my body...and I know it. At first I felt pretty good. I was keeping up with the tempo and even found the combinations came back to me like riding a bike. My heart rate was up, I had a sweat, I felt the burn.....this is good, I thought. Fifteen minutes elapsed. My heart rate was critical, I was pouring sweat, and the burn in my chest was unquenchable....this is not good, I thought. My feet began to drag, I felt the nausea and faintness battling each other for which one would conquer the beast. Meanwhile Skippy-Sally starts shouting words of encouragement directly to me...."push yourself, girl! If you don't, no one will." If I'd had one ounce of steam left in my bones I'd have given her a......well, I am turning over a new leaf. Anyway, miraculously I made it through the one hour class. It took about 3 hours for my cheeks to finally return to a shade of pink resembling human flesh as opposed to that of a third-degree sunburn victim. I'd venture to say that I'm proud of myself, but my humility hit an all time high as the 60 and 70 year-old women in the class (undoubtedly wearing leotards) made it through the torture unscathed. As I made it back to my van I could barely lift James' car seat into place. However, the important part is that I did it. I made a move toward not being fat. And as a reward, I can eat my triple layer fudge trifle with less guilt tonight! Just kidding!

Shift to deeper application.....praise God that we have a Lord that allows us to turn over a new leaf of repentance and forgiveness whenever we fail. I'm thankful that He sees our potential and NEVER sees us as a lost cause. No matter what life has done to or with us, He is ready and willing to make it new. Redefinition in Christ erases all previous labels, mistakes, and pains. I love our God of second, third, and seventy-second chances!!! This is how I felt.