Steph

This was one of "those" mornings. One of those mornings where you spend an hour in reflection and feel almost transported to another time and place. It started because I wanted to write a blog about friendship. As I was running over opening sentences, a few standards crossed my mind...."I've never had a friend like this", "No one has ever known me like you", etc etc. A touch of sadness entered my heart. The truth is, Holly is probably the best friend I've ever had and I WILL complete a blog about her, but Stephanie's name was pouring into my mind and heart this morning. What happened? Five years ago if you had told me that Steph and I wouldn't even attend each other's weddings, I would have laughed hysterically. "Steph will be my maid of honor!", I would have said. No, Jill. In fact, you don't even know each other anymore. You both have husbands, but they don't know each other. You both have sons, but you don't know the other's birthday. This friendship you once thought would last forever is now reduced to a yearly Christmas card with a hint of "Who is that kid?" when you see the cover. So set in motion this morning's reflection. I guess a small comfort I have is that I know why things went wrong. I can pinpoint the exact time when everything changed. When we went from spending every waking moment, weekend, holiday, and challenge together, to nothing but a smile and a "hey" over breakfast. I try to live my life with little regret. Nothing can change the past 4 years, so I choose to remember them fondly in my heart and not waste time with "what ifs". I am grateful for the friend I had in Steph. I don't think it's possible for me to go on a run without thinking of her and the way she was a constant motivation for me. I don't think I will ever spend time in the hill country without remembering our accidental plunge into the Frio River fully clothed on a freezing March morning in Leakey, TX. I don't think I will ever read Psalm 37:4 without remembering our scripture memory cards. I don't think I will ever hear the tunes from a Shane Barnard CD without being mentally transported to his concert on the grass of the A&M polo field where we were jumping and singing at the top of our lungs! I don't think I will ever hear of a fast without the thought of our three day fast and devotion to prayer at the Chrysalis in Lubbock. I don't think I will ever share my testimony without including the part where God gave me a partner to help me sort out my faith and beliefs....an angel. And I won't ever think of the word "friend" without thinking of Steph. This is how I felt.