Thursday, May 31, 2007
My two cents...
There is a fine line between the jealousy, irritation, and anger that fuels my blog tonight. I'm thankful that I understand being devoted to a career, being loyal to an employer, and earning the life that I have. I struggle to not be bitter toward those who live in opposition of this kind of life. Those who rely on others to consistently bail them out of situations that could have been avoided by a little common sense and simple planning. I'm angry when attempts to enlighten those who belittle my hard work are ignored or twisted. I'm jealous of the ignorance is bliss life. What did I say? Who did I hurt? Is it my responsibility? Hmm. Such is life. In the hard times I must realize that the light that will inevitably come at the end of the tunnel will be illuminated only by God's grace and our diligence. We can reflect proudly on our accomplishments, because they are ours...we earned them. I don't intend to imply an us vs. them mentality, but only to remind myself that the lives of those I might tend to envy are not gawk-worthy. They are littered with indecision and compromise. We are all flawed and I accept that. Humble pie can be served out in hearty portions to my counterparts and me, but tonight I'm angry. Tonight I struggle. However, I feel resolution when I am able to hash it out. The harsh and bitter diatribe that was my first draft for this posting was better left in the solitude of my recycle bin. The further I am able to self-reflect and divert my sight from those flaunting their "successes", the more at peace I become...the more grateful I become for my life...the more hopeful I become that eventually I will be empathetic enough to have duck skin toward the metaphorical rain of others' insulting jabs. Just as I am empowered by my independence, I can gain strength by focusing on only those things that are beneficial to my family and me. I will not think one more moment on those things that degrade and demoralize. I will take in only what is worth it. This is how I felt.
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3 comments:
Sounds as if it's more jelousy than anything.
In response to the above "Sounds as if it's more jealousy than anything" comment....My blog is a place where I am freely expressing ALL of my feelings. Some days I am more angry than reflective. When I wrote this posting, I was angry. Was there jealousy involved? I'm sure a hint of it...but that was NOT the major theme. Like the title says, this was just my two cents into a SMALL situation in my life. Trust me, I have bigger fish to fry!!
Not knowing what fueled your two cents here is my dime.
Those in opposition do not find hard work and sacrifice fulfilling, so there is no way for them to understand. Until they do understand there is no light to come on. The belittling is a defense mechanism triggered by a deep down quilt of what maybe they have been taught, and fight to bury, or have witnessed. In reading between the lines, and correct me if I missed it, but, jealous of the ignorance is bliss life is really not how you feel. Maybe for a split second. It is the easy way out and there is nothing easy about being a Christian.
You referenced all seven deadly sins in your comments. I am intrigued by this subject. In studying about the sins I found an interesting read @ http://www.whitestonejournal.com/seven_deadly_sins/index.html. I encourage you to take a minute to look at this analogy.
Moving on is best, keeping a watchful eye for the light at the end of that glorious tunnel. God's light is so bright that it is shining on us now and until the end or shall I say the beginning? Enjoy the lights warmth and power, bask in its love and mercy, tell others and pray for those that will not listen but never stop sharing the light.
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