What did you do today?

It is the worst question any man can ever ask a mother who has been home with her children. While most often it is his purely innocent attempt at small talk, those words pierce the innermost lining of the soul. As I glance around the house after he asks the question I realize there is very little tangible evidence of what my day has consisted of. Every diaper, outfit, and room that I have changed and cleaned is now dirty again. Every tantrum and crying spell that I spent countless moments to tame is now rearing back up. There is no proof of the tender moments we shared during lunch; only dirty dishes and crumbs on the floor remain. How desperately I want something tangible to show how hard I've worked. My mind is so mathematical, scientific and controlled that I need a product to show for the sum of my parts. As I sat perplexed I opened an email from my mother. Nothing groundbreaking, just chit chat as usual. I have read her signature line a hundred times, but today I let it in. Beneath her name is always printed the following quote: Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant. It granted me peace today. Someday the tangible or non-tangible evidence of my daily work will reveal itself in the being of my children. Their strength of character, self-esteem, faith, and integrity will be living proof of "what I did today". Until then I will find reward in the simple things...a laugh, a kiss, the way James' eyelashes fan over his sweet cheeks as he sleeps. These are moments that I would miss if I instead spent hours controlling my life. While the standards of old might have me scrubbing floors on my hands-and-knees and serving dinner on the table by 5, I choose to take pride in the life I am making for my family today. I am proud of the seeds I planted today. This is how I felt.