Cells

The American Cancer Society's simplest definition of cancer is the rapid and uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in the body. Rapid division of cells. The other condition that could be defined by the phrase "rapid division of cells" is pregnancy. In the first 6 days of pregnancy one cell divides into thousands, which in turn divide into thousands and create life. Two conditions of rapidly dividing cells. One creates life; one destroys life. Both occur in your body without your ability to control their progression. Having been pregnant, I remember the feelings of anxiety. I must be careful with myself. I must be as healthy as possible. I want to protect this fragile group of rapidly dividing cells. I love them. How awful it must be to be infected with cancer. The anxiety of knowing day-to-day that something exists in your body that is destroying it. You can't physically stop it. One must have the same thoughts....I must be careful with myself. I must be as healthy as possible. I want to protect my fragile life from this group of rapidly dividing cells. I hate them. So often people ask, Why? Why me? Why now? Why would God allow this to happen? Why would God allow the perfectly created, intricately designed human body to turn on itself in this manner?? Dammit....I hate it. I hate seeing the pain in my father-in-law's eyes. I hate thinking about how it will eventually win. How this group of cells will eventually overpower this incredible, strong, intelligent, soulful, colorful, and wonderful man. Why? I am usually the one that answers my own questions. I dig for a scripture or an experience or an analogy that will answer these questions that pain my heart. But tonight I'm left with none. I am thankful that God has an answer out there somewhere. I am thankful that I was given the cells that divided to create the beautiful life of my son. But now I am bitter that Bill has to fight against cells that won't stop. I'm angry, and I want God to fix it. This is how I felt.