My John

John is such a wonderful husband. He exceeds my expectations at every turn. He is wonderful with Jack, and is always willing to help with him. He loves him, talks to him, reads to him, and plays with him. He is an excellent chef, and often cooks dinner for me even after he has worked all day and endured a one hour commute home. He is attentive and loving to me. He is complimentary. He will almost always forfeit an activity he would like in order to appease me. He has no qualms about cleaning house, doing laundry, washing dishes, or making bottles. Aside from these skilled qualities are the in-depth reasons that I love my husband. He is quick to admit when he is wrong, and he does not insist on always being right. He apologizes. He sees his faults. He fights fair. He is kind. He is a thinker. He ponders life's questions and aides me in my self actualization. He allows himself to be silly and playful with me. I see a side of him that no other human being on earth will ever see. I know him in a way that no one else will ever know him. This makes me feel so special. I feel special because of him. He loves me. He not only tells me that he loves me, but he shows me. All in all, he is the perfect husband. A man of integrity, pride, and honesty, but a man who would lay down his pride to love his family. I could write an entire book, literally, on all the ways that I love him. All the reasons that I love him. His smell, his touch. Why then am I sad? I am sad, because I fear that I am not fair to him. I fear that he could not honestly list out all of the selfless things I do to love him back, because I commit very few selfless acts. I want so much to be a good wife to him, but I fear that I fail him. I fear that as much as my heart loves him, my life does not outwardly express it. Am I kind and loving to him? Sure. Do I tell him that I love him? Of course. Do I go above and beyond and show him in everyday ways that he is the single most important person in the world to me? No. In my heart I don't feel that I take him for granted. I know how lucky I am, but I don't know if he knows that I know that. I should try harder. I should show him more. I will try. This is how I felt.